The Runaway Girl
You can usually find her leaning against this wall leather jacket on, collar up, watching the people who she refers to as objects around her. Some how wanting to believe they are nothing more than distractions to amuse her in this small town where she doesn't seem to have a place. Pushing her hair behind her ear only to reveal more metal than skin, maybe it’s a style. Maybe it’s nothing more than a way to escape. People usually say it is the latter, because if you look close enough you would notice there is always a new one when she is upset. Soon wondering if there would only be metal.
A sly smile creeping across her face as she watches a couple hug, wondering why? Why them, how together and how apart? She looks as if they speak volumes to her, a mind full of doubt, trying to rewind the movie reel in her mind. Just needing the conformation that she was never like that. Never being dependent, never needing a man. While in reality she misses him every day. Believing there is a scar for each act of fate. But the real scars are the ones that can’t be seen.
The rain starts to fall and the wind blows harder than before. She stands there unmoving as everyone else in the open runs for cover. Looking up at the sky rain drops fall in her eyes as the wind whips her face, seemingly sodden and a flustered pink. She stands in the rain as all the passers by looking for refuge from the rain watch her and wonder why? But she didn't care. Rain was the only thing that made her feel safe. Each drop after all is only as temporary was it wants to be. Falling from the sky, only to hit the floor. A dead end and a rock wall. Reaching a place where there can be nothing left to decide because when you come to this point there isn't even anything to say let alone anywhere to go, she say's. Gazing at the sky again watching the sun fade to black as the rain took over its grace. Just to smile and look at her black chipped nails as if to say “welcome to my life".
She starts to walk down the slopping path. Hands in her back pockets, the studs on her belt glisten in the light from the newly illuminated lamps, and head phones in her ears, with the most content smile on her face. Soon we find she has disappeared from this place because after all night was the only time she seemed to really speak, volumes without words at all. Slipping away in the sliver of light from a distant door standing a jar. But this is where she comes to see me.
Most people say she is strange, disliked by more than the number that know her. Black clothes some how seen as brooding, using words like pathetic, Goth, emo, fake. But here she shows her real scars hidden away under the clothes and the fashion statement she hopes to create. Slashed across her body you can see the road map of her life; the hidden love: The denied shame: The happiness she used to believe was the only way. Her confusion on how she wound up here with me tonight, but beyond all of these, you can finally see the fear she feels everyday the thought that plagues her mind of whether anyone would even care when the morning comes. All of this somehow visible in this light of this cold night.
And here she sits curled up on the sofa, with a blanket around her shoulders, and a towel in her hair. Shivering from the wet and the cold, Her hands and nose pink, somehow seeming gentle as she holds the mug of coffee hoping for some kind of warmth that the hot mug could never provide her. Some how finding depth in the liquid in the cup. She looks down pensively finally looking up to give me a smile. Her smile full of uncertainties and self-consciousness as her veil of black clothing sits on the couch next to her. She glances to the left to look at the heap of black. Her lip quivers, vulnerable. Wrapped up in her thoughts of masks shed as she sits there in my shirt. Her fingers grazing her eyes no longer heavy set and black lidded. She looked tired, eyes fighting a battle. Never knowing if she wanted to sleep or fight tears. However she some how seems calm away from the words that make her run. But after all that's why she is my runaway girl.
Bare Feet...
Her bare feet walk over the cold tiled floor. As she walked away yet again. Opening the door as the let her towel fall to the floor. Walking up to the shower, she turns the knob impatiently waiting for the water to get hot. Walking away suddenly restless. Approaching the sink looking at herself in the mirror as her hands were pressed against the counter. Standing there for a moment or two to really get a good look at herself and what she had become. She almost forgot where she was until the steam from the shower started to rise in the air. Stepping into the shower allowing the boiling water to painfully caressher back. Feet together, arms across her chest, and head tilted to the side she watch the water move down her arm. Allowing her self to momentarily believe that it is true that water can wash away your sins. Always attempting to be more of a cynic than she actually was. I couldn't blame her though considering the life she chose. She stood still under the never ending water as the window filled with steam. She Turned off the shower and picked up her towel and loosely wrapped it around herself waking up to the window to wipe one of the panes clear of the fog only to see pure darkness outside. Tip toeing down the hall back to her room. Thinking she will find me asleep. Slowing down half way there allowing the floor to feet cold upon her feet as the water from her short black hair dripped down her back. She turns the handle of her bedroom door. waking toward the bed as drops of water fall to the floor in her wake. as her hair steadily drips down her back on to her newly christened tattoo . Walking to toward me perching her knees on the edge on of the bed almost kneeling her hand warm as she touches my face. She looks into my eyes. Seeming clear and sure for once her black eyes poured into my brown ones. She lay down next to me never moving the gaze of her eyes as she let me pull her closer to me.
Bed Side Lamp…
She soon falls asleep lying in my arms. Suddenly waking turning to side of the bed pulling the gold chain on the antique green lap that stood on the bed side table. The flair of light suddenly illuminating the room around her and she pulls a sheet over her. sitting up leaning against the head board. The dark blue walls glistening against the wooden floors from the moon light pouring in through the window. Which the drapes of which she conveniently forgot to draw. Looking to her right to see me asleep. She wonders what she had just done. Wonders if she would ever regret it. She feels on the lurch needing to know what would happen soon. She looks the sleeping figure again and folds her legs against her chest wrapping her arms around her knees. and resting her head. Playing the night on replay in her mind. She was expressionless filled with too many questions unsure if she should smile or cry. Falling back into her thoughts she sat there hair falling over her eyes. Slowly lifting her head and slowly leaning over me she kissed me on the cheek. She lay back down still questioning everything but able to answer one she didn't want to lie here with anyone else than who she was with tonight. falling asleep almost the instant her head touched the pillow. just as i push her hair out of her eyes.
Out of the Crowd
She walks slowly and cautiously through these corridors and hall ways that have become the places where the meaninglessly dwells. Lockers against the walls, like metal cages meant for capturing the unknown wanderers soul and heart. But she was beyond that she knew the tricks of this place. She knew her past and how easy it was to believe you belonged here. So here she walks quietly her silver ballet flats not making a sound against the old stone floors. The empty buildings eerie without the bustle of the hundreds of other students who dwelled in the exact places her feet have passed over. So with knowing by her side. Her soul and heart tucked away in a place she believed safe. She looks into the windows of the classes where we believe we are to learn everything needed for our future. She doesn't know if that is true for certain but the hopes even if it is a lie. That this lie will keep her going for the rest of her life. A bell sounds in the distance. She jumps as it interrupts her pensive silence. As mobs of people file out of these class rooms passing her by with a hi. Opening these metal cages where they find their missing dignity. Talking to their friends every now and then letting out an excited shriek. As she stands in the center of the constantly moving crowd she looks down at her shoes sparkling in the bright but cold sun light. Books in her hands and bag slug over her shoulder. She begins to walk into this crowd. Attempting with all her might to just blend but she knows the will never be just another person in these surges of meaningless giggles and kisses.
